CDC Warns Public About Exposure to Thomas Rhett's "Vacation"

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have issued a strict warning to music listeners throughout the United States about the side effects of overexposure to Thomas Rhett's new single "Vacation." Along with the sudden death of numerous brain cells, sufferers develop an immediate case of TDD, or Taste Deficit Disorder.

CDC Representative Myles Jensen was even more thorough in his warnings. "Thomas Rhett's "Vacation" can affect more than a person's taste in music, it can completely strip away their ability to identify quality art in any medium," Jensen said. "Before they know it, they're praising Grey's Anatomy and proclaiming Pitbull the greatest rapper in the history of the genre."

"These are dangerous things to be stating out loud. Who's going to hire somebody that can't even identify drivel, especially if they're applying for a job that deals directly with other people?" Jensen also warned of the tendency to consume alcohol at alarming rates when exposed to Rhett's abomination. "When the art in question lacks substance to such a great degree, listeners have no incentive to control their alcohol intake in order to enjoy the moment. We're seeing alarming amounts of DUI arrests in places where exposure to the song is prevalent."

The best way to prevent the sudden onset of TDD, or the loss of brain cells en masse, is to avoid mainstream country radio altogether, according to Jensen. "That's the only way to ensure that you don't become a victim of this atrocity. I would even suggest listening to as much Merle Haggard as possible in the coming months, just to make sure that you continue to understand what good songs actually sound like."


We've got a long hard battle in front of us, folks. Don't become a victim--avoid this truly awful song.

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